Monday, July 27, 2015

Simply Crazzy

To give you guys a little update. I'm in Colorado picking up my new to me SUV.

Ozzy and I took off from Holbrook Arizona on a Greyhound bus.  It felt nice to let someone else do the driving. We rode for nearly 18 hours on the bus including a five hour layover in Albuquerque.

We were both very tired when we got here. SO we took a couple of days too kind of chill out and visit with our friends Shane & Lily. We gradually have been enjoying some vacation style things like going to a waterpark one day and to Cracker Barrel for dinner. We have camped out in some of the local camping spots with them. I've gotten used to driving the new car and got the insurance and legal stuff taken care.

Visiting in a large city like Denver has been good and different.   The low drone of traffic all day long as well as the hot city weather can add to our stress levels.

I'm walking Ozzie around the lot behind Cabela's here in Denver. They have a large grassy area with sidewalks in the back. We saw a couple small rabbits. I had never been to Colorado before and everytime you look up there are incredible views of mountains on the horizon. 

So this morning we were getting a few little things from storage and running a couple errands. There are a couple repairs Shane wanted to make to his travel trailer. I also had a couple things that I wanted to do so we went into Harbor Freight which is a tool store. As we were leaving some older gentleman who wasn't doing very well pulled right in back of me while I was backing out and so I had to deal with insurance companies. Yup an accident. Its been years since any thing like this has happened to me.  Everyone is fine. I was nervous and shaken. I entertained thoughts about people and liking the vast open country of the west and Arizona. 

I wanted to stay to take part in another milestone in Lily and Shane's RV life. We will likely head home next week.

I've enjoyed meeting the full time RVers that live and maneuver around the area here in Denver. Its always interesting to hear the stories and experiences of people I meet.

I've gotten a couple great yard sale deals. Used my Cabela's points and am being careful with my budget so I can both do this AND meet my goals.

I believe that we are going to get out of town tomorrow. I know that I need the break!  I will try to get another post out this week.

Let me know how you guys are doing!

Friday, July 17, 2015

Simply quietly riding into. ..

My last post was about Simply being along for the ride!  And I am. Quietly, hopefully patiently in my seat. Watching out the window as we move along.   Okay not always quietly because I do like to talk. <grin>

My intention was to write and publish a post and update on Wednesday. ..but we were still in motion - unit this morning. I'm enjoying my coffee which I made inside my van. Sitting on my milk crate/game board with Ozzie at my feet I sip the dark warm liquid while I listen to NPR news on a borrowed radio (that I repaired by the way).

It's Friday. The month of July is half over. At times, time simply flies past. Yes I am still parked on my friend's 20 acres. I love this area and the people that I meet. The small towns and old school businesses are not only manageable but fun too. The weather has been interesting. With some challenging flooded roads this past week. Which kinda reminded me of rainy season in Costa Rica.  I have found out how to get both UPS and FedEx deliveries even in poor weather, small batch bulk water delivery and cleaned an old water tank for storage. Ozzie is helping to kill the pack rats that had gotten into every thing stored here and we are bagging up some trash.I added a couple bird feeders and we have some kewl visitors each day. Many hummingbirds are here.

I feel happy and healthy most days. I did have one mild asthma coughing spell the other day but I am alright. It didn't last long.

The van needs another repair (sigh). Since I will be traveling by Greyhound bus this week. I will leave the van in the shop while I am away.

I will be traveling to Colorado this week. I've never been there before. I'm going to visit some friends and to pick up a vehicle.

Yesterday I was given a rather large project. I am excited to see how the process turns out this time. I enjoy taking an old unusable thing and bringing it back to life. I will start with clean up and assesment of the actual scope. You know how it is when you see something the first time its hard to know what really needs to be done until you start cleaning it up. It should be arriving here this morning - along with a borrowed chainsaw so we can widen the narrow curvey driveway that runs along the easement of neighboring property. 

Yes I am already taking pictures! I would like to make a little progress before I start talking about it much. I'm managing my ability to become overwhelmed and anxious.  I can so take my time with this project because of where I am staying.

That's about all I have for now. ..
I saw that Lou was nearly finished with his remodeling of his Vardo. Al did some repairs and remodling, Donna & Mark have been working with family and have workamping set up for the near future. My friend Gail is workamping nearby and I was able to visit her recently, which was very nice and felt like a mini vacation complete with a perspective change. I think that Evelyn may be hoping to find a lot where it is legal to camp, because of her 'home' travel trailer, because paying rent sucks :). I also noticed that Jessie and Ed have been on the East Coast.

I'm looking forward to visiting with my friends at RTR this year.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Simply along for the ride!

Uncomfortable weather - hot or cold, wet or desert dry
As well as legal regulations. ...

Over the years since I left my parent's home in Eliot, Maine: these issues have been a consistent part of my thoughts. I was not prepared with information or experience out in 'the world'. I didn't understand legal stuff or how to rent and deal with landlords. I thought everyone had to be fair and that they would deal in every situation ethically, honestly and legally.   and when they didn't I was confused and baffled - and when some of those people were family it was even more baffling - its no wonder I became depressed.

I have tried on (like shoes - grin) many different living situations. When out of ideas I have even stayed in homeless shelters and tried to live within the system. .working up from the shelter to transitional housing and finally snagging the Section 8 housing.... (by the way - yuk can you say no freedom and no money)

My dad told me once that living takes everything (he ment money) you make. He's right in this society living takes all your energy.

So, why not use that energy doing something kewl that you actually like?

I've been accused of changing my mind a lot. Maybe I do. What's wrong with that?

Apartment 1 - old building n kewl
Park bench - its pretty at least and only a couple nights while I learn what to do.
Cottage - inexpensive darn the skunk family under the bedroom floor
Off season beach cottage - free for house sitting until the hippies left.
Rt 1 Motel for construction guys - picked by a family member because I was not worth helping (actual conversation)
An Uncle's spare room - so I can find a job oops Auntie doesn't let women stay with her...sorry you gotta go now. People aye!
Off season military rooming house - sleazy sucky but darn okay I will babysit inexchange for a room.
Hmmm then the exhusband starts calling the shots. with his friends, then try again with my family (disaster you'd think I learned) then apartment 2 - husb doesn't like to pay rent. we go again - na creative problem solving lets live in a van yup in 1978 in a 1968 Chevy with the engine between the seats. I even made chicken stew on that engine. And why live in a van so we could save money to buy land and build a house and have it paid for.  (Novel ideas aye?)
Apartment 3 I was a few months from having my first baby and there still wasn't enough money for land or a house. ..
Then house trailer beside the junk yard - we had enough to buy that and spruce it up...ah but those husbands who become ex's  he wasn't helping fix. He'd take apart and leave it all ghetto and scarey with two babies. ..
Trade up to an out of state move and owner financed rent to own land...on a creek with moose n coyotes n - omgosh he still won't help....
Time at parent's in a different state
House rental a mile from parents
Church and exhubby want me to try again
Apartment 3 - half condemned building. ..but I gotta or bye byw church, kids, family and friends.
I was done so done
House rental 2 in the city I don't remember much.  I was tired. I left
Plans all fell through I gotta go to parents - dread no - 3 months and church threatening parents. I left.
Cardwelling - like vandwelling in a car.
Apartment 4 - with coworker (later bf) horrible no bathroom no sink no kitchen - they rent places like this?  Okay camping equipment and now we have a bathroom, shower and kitchen. ..until I loose it. ..he's a drug addict - I don't even know what that is? I'm so stupid.  I don't trust me.
Homeless shelter 1 & 2
Apartment 5 - arguing and trying to work things out and I get backhanded!
Homeless shelter 2
Apartment 6 & 7 him in rehab. I'm going to college! My family thinks I am not smart and I am in college!  Whoohoo. Maybe I will be an Art Therapist! Wow the debt.
Apartment 8 --- I don't even remember it all
9, 10, 11....
On my own good job Apt 12 with the river view. suck downsized!
Back to the car. my way into Apt 13 or something in NYC...nervous breakdown
Homeless shelter 3-8, transitional housing. ..omgosh my neighbor is having an affair with my brother in law?
Moved in with sister...can't do it. .just can't
Homeless shelter (I lost count)
SSDI disability came through. ..I'm going back to NYC...but I have to be homeless in NYC for a year first...shelters #?-? One and a half years.
Rooming house I was told was the first step to my apartment. was a lie...crap
Apt? Times Sqare not bad but what's the smell. .omgosh are you serious my neighbor died...I'm not going out this way I'm too young.
CR ..... house sitting or projects ...

Its too much
I don't fit anywhere. ...

Hiking the AT three months alone outdoors sleeping in a hammock. Lightening and snow and hail

A hospital stay - family again and this time I am done. .nothing good comes from my family.

Dad dies
Oh the homestead in CR - not my land. Don't believe anyone.

A van.  Okay I have been there...I can do this.

Only it is friggin cold!
and I don't like this"great" van.  It's not anything like the pictures isent to the party who helped me get it. And who cares about speakers and electronic stuff. I've been living in the jungle and woods for three years. .I could care less about electric systems for a generator.
(no offence to anyone who has or had a part in my past life. )

Fast forward
I'm sitting on 20 acres
Lots of same ideas as always run back through to be processed again with new live experience filters in place. ...

Not my land don't give too much.
What if the van needs a repair now?
I flipped the Scamp as a way to make money.  I could do that again.
Apache pop ups are doable.
Geo-Playa Domes are pricey and liveable. I want to stand up on a bad weather day.
Maybe I should build a Vardo?
Could I set up a Tipi alone?
I don't want to be alone - I love Ozzie and I am ready for a relationship with some one who is willing to SHARE the ups and downs.
Buying land.
If I had bought the first piece instead of relying on the my life. ..I'd still have something or somewhere. ..
Okay so before I turn 60 years old I am buying a piece of dirt. Even if I am doing something else with someone else. This is for me. It's kinda like my tattoo that I got for my 50th birthday it was all for me.

I got a call the other day and someone I helped is giving me a Honda SUV!

I don't know where I am being taken this time. ..and it may seem like I keep changing my mind. ...I'm Simply along for the ride....

Simply Morning Thoughts not an Update!

I teach a Personal Project Plan (P.P.P.) Class. Often I chose to teach at a Homeless or Battered Women's Shelter or Mental Health Wellness Center. After my nervous breakdown. ..omgosh 10 years ago this coming September/October. ..I was struggling with how to be okay.  It was odd to have the Doctor apply for Disability benefits for me and I needed the help. I guess I thought that I would work some lesson plan and over time (like maybe one year) I would be okay...whatever okay was/is.

A lot has changed in 10 years. I have traveled a lot! I have met many new people and even have learned how to not only meet them but also to develop some lasting friendships. I have relocated from Maine to Times Square NYC to Costa Rica and then to a Nomadic Vandweller lifestyle in the South West.  I recently relocated again to St John's Arizona.  For the past 6 months I have had the companionship of my Yorkie Ozzie. In the past ten years I attempted two relationships with men that didn't last the years that I prefer. I don't have tolerance any more for meanness, sly-it feels like you are hiding something or being abandoned in preference to internet porn. Oh and don't yell at me - my defenses will raise up and I will build an emotional wall that takes years or major trust work to get down. Talk to me as if I am a full capable human, even if I have a problem to solve and give me time to go think about it. I'm a creative problem solver - okay and I often forget what the other people in mainstream society are like. Ask me to cook for a crowd with minimal supplies and it'll be done - with flair!

My new life/living situation is not that unfamiliar.  I am parked on 20 acres about 30 miles from a town. I have homesteaded before and was kind of raised in a homesteading situation with large gardens, house building and expansion, bee hives and 100 chickens at a time.

Being alone on twenty acres and in very close contact with nature gives me plenty of time to process what I have been through. Experiences that feel like struggles I am often able to learn from.  Because struggling is simply when a belief does not match a truth. Thank you Byron Katie!

Knowing that repeating some process that doesn't work over and over will never produce something different and will lead to crazzy! I have plenty of time and space to examine my life and choices.  What can I change or try differently to perhaps get a different result/experience/or have a new adventure.  Okay I also have to get real. The reality of me-Lesa won't change.  Yes I am a thinker. I am always looking for a challenge as well as an adventure.  I love people, hugs, animals, nature and the natural ways, I love learning about the old ways and natural healing.  I like to make stuff - especially taking old crap and recycling it into something beautiful and useful. I'm lazy too. I don't like the weather too hot or too cold and I have learned to not complain about it.  I hate waiting for other people. I'm rather impatient. -- it's important to know ourselves.

In my P.P.P. class,  we create vision boards. Now they are not always 'boards'. They can be decorations in your personal space or home, a pretty blank book sitting near your favorite chair or bed...the important thing is that you look at your visual reminders and goals many times every day. 

Last summer I taught my P.P.P. class in Cottonwood AZ.  I created a new vision board along with my class...except with all my traveling and changes (van, scamp, van, hiking and tent, van) I have not looked at it much at all. I tucked my pages of collaged magazine pictures in a plastic file folder under my bed.  I just found them again.

and I am sharing....