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Friday, April 14, 2017

I talk about ideas. Alot!

Someone said 'wow you change your mind a lot' well I keep  getting curve balls!

When I bought my land I wasn't really looking for land, so I didn't have much of a plan. Being a landowner is stabilizing to me. I'm still a traveling nomad. I give a lot of myself away when I am traveling because I love people and want to help them be happy and successful. When I need a break I can be so exhausted that I am nearly sick. It takes me about 3 months of doing nothing to recover!

I've been living on a very low income of  $250 a month for nearly 3 years now. I knew that it was possible to finish up that project during 2017.

Then curve ball! When my daughter asked me to come to Virginia for the birth of her second baby I had to say yes and adjust my life. I'm no longer sure if I will complete the bill paying this year or not. It certainly will be close. Knowing that as well as knowing that my Honda is older and with an understanding of the weather on my property, I knew that camping out of the Honda would not be enough protection from the elements. I figured that I needed a loose plan to cover me for two years. Traveling and getting out of debt the first year and saving money for the second year. Then I  could have a more comfortable place, be it an earth handmade house or motorhome or who knows during the third year coming up.  In January I had $1100 saved and had considered either the Playa Dome tent or upgrading my vehicle to a Minivan. My Honda is old though it still is trusty so I opted for the Dome and a cargo basket for the roof of the car. I thought it would allow me to travel and take my home with me and keep my Honda gas mileage. It was a good idea but I don't like the set up and stuff and I didn't feel safe enough to sleep in it. Guess I'm not a tent person!

So I am regrouping, downsizing  (I like living simply and minimally),  and getting my priorities straight. I still have the same goals which are to live without debt and to visit my daughter along with things like staying healthy. I will get rid of anything that doesn't support that or that I haven't touched or used in 6 months to a year. I will save as much money as possible so that when the Honda needs replacing I will be ready. I will have a loose plan for getting out of or avoiding bad weather - that means that I have to pay attention to weather reports (one reason why I upgraded my radio) as I travel. And as I have been feeling uncomfortable lately, i will plan a couple of nights in a hotel as well.

Now my property is great. I  think I would like to be able to come and go from there.  A little comfort and convenience would be great. So I am keeping my eyes open for a travel trailer or something that I can leave there like a cottage or cabin. I'm not too comfortable towing something all over the place. I am comfortable car camping in the Honda so my thoughts lean that way.

Oh and I was taught to think out loud. Something about it being sinful to not be in control of your thinking and parents needing to control their kids...whatever. I do have lots of 💡 ideas and I learned to talk about them.  So you probably hear lots of that. 🙄

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Simply a little headway!

After days of feeling like I was stuck. I decided to move back into the Honda. I will sell off everything that won't fit in it or on the cargo basket and start preparing for the trip to Virginia.

I did go to the St Johns Flea Market on Monday. I took the tent and all. I sold a lot and got a lead on the dome. We will see where that goes.

Its been hard learning to accept that I made an error in judgment. That I didn't 't feel safe enough sleeping in a tent. I couldn't rest and felt anxious all night long. I was scared of snakes and scorpions and rats ... lol oh my! I thought I had been so careful spending money and I basically just wasted  $1100. I made a good well thought out decision that was not right for me. Now I felt like like I needed to do something.  But what?  I used my emergency fund which isn't smart. I couldn't see another option. I have been so tired, so alone and I want some comforts. I was so stuck in my uncomfortable uncertainty.

I am not done traveling. I want a life rather than an existence solving some survival issue. I went dancing with a friend last month and was reminded of how much I love music and dancing and being happy! And sweating lol. Survival mode sucks!

I've also remembered other times and parts of 'routine' that I enjoyed and kept me focused.  Things like traditions or celebrations or even weekly budget time, daily quiet time and stuff like that that has not been part of my camping full-time travel life. An occasional scheduled phone call can bring peace and joy to people... it occurred to me that I would like to try adding some of that stability into my life as I move back into the Honda and as I plan for the trip to Virginia.



I have my work cut out for me as I go through my stuff again. I have added back some  comforts like a good steel framed shower tent and a 2.5 gallon solar shower bag... I feel more normal and happier when I can be clean and have my hair neat.  I am downsizing the kitchen for the summer because I do eat different when I travel a lot and when its warmer. And omgosh I gave up coffee! I want to upgrade my window screens and a shade/awning of some kind. I will give you all some gear reviews as I go along.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

It's Simply my process!

Sometimes when I am going thru big changes, l need to sit still and do mundane stuff like just sleeping and cleaning and cooking and watching the birds and animals. I especially like to sweep or rake during these times, and washing dishes with my hands in hot water feels really good too.

I can get depressed and gain weight during these times, especially if I don't feel that I am capable of taking on the full weight of personal responsibility for myself (and Ozzie) or if I don't have someone else to cook for,  because wasting food doesnt make sense. During these times I examine how I interact with the other people in my life. I can be pretty critical of how I handle everything. I also spend a lot of time going over past interactions and analyze what went well and what didn't. I then work to imagine a change that will result in a different outcome. I also spent some time imagining how I think I look to the world,  like physically too.  When, like now, I am getting close to a big birthday - next year I will be  omgosh 60 which to me is officially old - I also spend time figuring out who I want to be, what I want to look like... I didn't ever imagine myself being 60. When I was young and attending WWCG (church) with my family, I was taught that I would never get older because Christ would return and the world as we knew it would be over. I was taught that I would never get married or have children or get  'old'. 

So here I am a year before my 60th birthday, which is actually at the end of June., considering my lifetime and future and direction. My priorities for this year are to visit my daughter in Virginia and to finish paying off my debts. I am so close to the debt being gone. I've sacrificed hard and lived an unconventional lifestyle as well as living on a very low income of $250 a month. Im tired. I have worked hard. Very hard. It has been difficult getting through all the decisions alone. Encouraging myself when I was so frustrated with not being able to have much of a life. Something changed over the winter months this year.  I now know that I left my property in St Johns AZ too early  and I returned too early in the  'spring' as well.  The weather has been annoying to deal with because I was unprepared for any thing outside my beloved 70 degree sunny day temperatures! 

Over the past couple years I worked hard to learn to trust others enough to make friends again.  Then I left them to see what would happen. I was surprised to find that not only was I not forgotten,  I was still accepted and loved!  I also wondered if my townie friends in St Johns would accept me back after traveling and they have as well.... soooo

I guess I never expected or even imagined this happening in my life.  And then my daughter, who along with my son, lived with their father and a step mother during their teen years. My daughter contacted me and asked if I would come be with her when she has her second baby.  Wow....life changes aye?  And as if that is not enough... a sister found me online and contacted me  - my family disowned me when I moved to my first apartment in 1977 and then at my father's memorial service in 2010 I was informed that I was dead and should never contact any family members again.  Wow that was tough and took some wandering, trail therapy and a couple years to settle in my thoughts. Hearing from her was challenging and yet it has been alright.

So WHY  don't I have a house or a trailer or a plan? .... im on overload. Emotional overload. I need to mentally regroup.  Not make decisions right now and just  simply be!

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Nightmares!

I'm Simply in the midst of a decision nightmare!

My head hurts. My eyes are blurry. I feel unsettled and it seems that Ozzie's feeling sick.

I learned that the Dome i bought was a great space and so not right for me.
I spent a weekend in a nearby town. Went dancing and walked a lot and really enjoyed living.
I drove a friend of mine to another town for shopping.
Another day took a friend to pick up their new to them truck.
I attended my friend's wedding and stayed out later than normal.
Over the past weeks I've designed and redesigned tiny homes for myself. And just shelved all those ideas.
I've posted the dome for sale.
Sat outside in the windy sunshine and answered phone calls and emails.
A friend's mom died - i will house sit when they go to the service.
I feel like its difficult to advise others on tiny home and nomadic lifestyles when I'm unsure of my own life and home right now. (Yes i sometimes consult on people's trailer or van choices and designs)
Another friend of mine got a new girlfriend! Whoo congrats. He has helped me with many projects before. He's got an 18ft Winnebago project motorhome from the 70s. Its available for sale - add that to the what do i need or want to do list...

Arrrg








I  - well we are going to need to be more protected from bad weather! 





Friday, March 17, 2017

Simply my new radio...

Morning all!
I've been busy running the roads in my home area this week.  Man is my back sore. I'm pretty tired of sitting down lol.
I did get a delivery or two. I finally replaced and upgraded my radio. It was important to me that I have multiple sources of power as well as more stations. Choice is a form of freedom.
I'm loving this new version of an emergency radio  complete with NOAA emergency settings  and weather stations. I got it through Sportsmans Warehouse for around  $50.


And off to do a bit more clean up here before taking a break to duh drive again - but in order to go dancing!  It's Simply time to have a life! All this survival mode is getting to me.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

What is next?

A life equation that I learned years ago. Perhaps from Byron Katie although I don't recall exactly.  Was that Suffering is when a Truth and a Belief don't match.

I have wondered about why my life has gone the direction it has. And yes I have at different times felt that I would never be strong enough to survive the suffering that I felt.

I couldn't settle in my thoughts, why God (the all that is all) gave me this event or that trauma or another storm to weather or yet another of lifes curve balls!

And then it occurred to me that I had been taught early in life that I had no choice or control. Although I got my share of free will by being born a human, I was taught to bend it always to what I was given by the unseen forces of life.  That is the events set in motion at the beginning of time by God - that power greater than all or that is the all that is all.

I was also taught that if I did the"right" things in life, like putting other people and their feelings and needs first and if I was thinking and "doing" good things then I would be rewarded with a little good and happiness in my life.....ah am I still waiting to be good enough for God to notice that I have been good and I have been quiet and I haven't asked for much...when was he going to step in and help me out?

I certainly have felt some overwhelming moments!

I'm back in the county where my land is located. I'm not at 'home' because of the weather.  Over the winter months I sold my travel trailers, paid some bills and made some upgrades to my car. New tires, a cargo basket for the roof and stuff. I also spent a lot of time researching and making the decision to buy a large dome - yurt - tent for use at large events and on my property.  Unfortunately I cannot put the tent up alone and I didn't have a woodstove to heat the space with.  I have a severe reaction to propane so I choose to not use it and wood heat makes more sense to me.  Anyway I am staying with a friend who lives close to town in an unfinished small house.  Ozzie and I have been sleeping on the floor in the future bathroom. Yes we are comfortable as we travel with our own bedding and stuff anyway.  This house is off-grid and built on a hill, which makes windy days and nights pretty scary.

I keep wondering what I am doing and where I will end up ... I don't have as clear as direction as I would like to have.  I realize how scared I may be at times living in the dome, because even though it is large it still is a tent. I am pretty sure that I am finished with being so alone. I would like to be married.  I've been touching base with family and old friends. Getting back online more often and sharing more.  I feel unsettled and awkward. I prefer having a project or a problem to solve, some kind of focus! I'm feeling that I can't see even a day ahead right now...  I don't feel that I am suffering. And yet I do feel out of sorts.  So I am doing my best to keep a sort of routine and help my friend with basics like making meals and keeping the house neat.

More soon
Simply,

Lesa

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Simply who is that?

Update on my Ozzie's health... since taking meds for epilepsy, Ozzie has only had two seizures that I know about. He's a little more clingy and seems to not like being alone, understandably.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Winter Count - Simple Gathering

Well actually it was a fun filled busy 10 day event. Approximately 650 people registered and it certainly seemed busy enough for them all to have been there. I'm struggling with Internet access in order to keep you updated. Libraries are wonderful although the speed and access can be limited. Those limits can be frustrating!




Friday, January 20, 2017

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

I nearly lost Ozzie yesterday.  Wow - Grieving and re-grieving! what a day. We spent some time hunting for an Emergency Vet - being Off-Line, darn, no more YellowPages books!  How the heck do I find things quickly in an Emergency when I don't have "smart" electronics? 411 - well it kinda works, but those AutoBot things mistranslate me soooo much it is very annoying!

We finally found the off-duty vet in Blythe CA.  He was wonderful - he took blood and tested it.  You see Ozzie had a seizure while at the dog park yesterday morning - when I wrapped him in a towel and put him in the car, I was not sure he would survive.  He did. Eventually barking his Yorkie bark at another dog. Then he ate some dog food and drank some water - soooo we visited the vet. He couldn't find the heart issue that the other vet thought was there and nothing else seems to be wrong.  He has Epilepsy! evidently the weird mouth/tongue thing he has been doing the last couple weeks may have been mini seizures and yesterdays event a GrandMal! Scarey - like crying, grieving, shakey scarey! and now a day later. He's rested and it seems back to normal with a little less barking and little more wanting hugs.

I'm visiting the Quartzsite library, which is very accommodating and has nice employees.  I checked for comments to my blogging - so I could respond, while I'm here.  I also checked my recent orders placed through Amazon. I get to go pick up something!



I certainly hope you all have a wonderful day.  I am planning one - if God sees things the same it should be restful and fun!

Keep smiling,
Simply,
Lesa

Friday, January 13, 2017

SIMPLY 2017 RTR and some wandering thoughts!

Hi friends!
It has been a long time since I posted.  I was hoping to start blogging with internet service and a new tablet around the first of January 2017.  Well, for some unknown reason - Mobile Solutions never filled my order and I have begun the refund process through Amazon's Payment services department.

I left home for some winter traveling earlier than I wanted to.  I decided to give a newbie traveler my assistance early.  Because of that I traveled across I40 through Winslow, Flagstaff and Kingman AZ spending a few days in each town.  I eventually ended up in Lake Havasu City AZ and after bumping into an old RTR buddy in WalMart attended Jamie from Enigmatic Nomadics van build party event.

A fellow vandweller acquaintance - Jay - passed away during that time and I helped his Significant Other with the amazingly confusing and messy details before sending her along her way back north to family members.

I seem to only get a couple days rest and relaxation at a time - I sold a couple travel trailers that I updated or 'flipped' and made it down to Ehrenberg AZ to mentally regroup in a familiar location now only using the Honda "bedroom" again.  Some rain and cold days felt discouraging tho were manageable.  Bob Wells of CheapRVLiving and RTR (Rubber Tramp Rendevous), was camped in a nearby campsite and asked to make a couple YouTube videos of me.  Which we did one afternoon - thankfully he didn't show the tripping over a dog blooper! yup skinned my knee and all is well.

I moved over to the RTR campsite a few days early and set up my camp a distance from the center of activity to be sure I could manage the 'fun'.  That didn't help too much as a whopping 600 or so people showed up! One night before the event even began I woke up to use my outside potty and found a couple of drugged up drunk people IN my camp - after a failed attempt at a solution I called 911. Incredibly the police only took 5 minutes to arrive and solved the problems quickly.  The people who are attending RTR this year are incredibly different than the groups and friends I have enjoyed before.  There are some very rude, inconsiderate and perhaps entitled people around in 2017.  What happened to the down to earth groups of the past.  Well - I connected and reconnected with many friends and thank God that my new basecamp tent was LOST - yup - by UPS!  Had it been delivered on time, I would have set it up and NOT been able to leave quite as easily.  So I moved over to a far away wash with a down to earth buddy from a prior RTR and was able to actually get sleep last nite.  Ozzie has been doing a great job, he has however needed his anxiety medication a few times.
I keep remembering that This too will change! It always does - the weather, the anxiety level, the I woke up sad, or I woke up happy feeling - it all changes - all the time and its a GOOD thing even when it doesn't 'feel' like it!

We will chat again soon - me and my Off-Grid - Off-Line - Keep It Simple Sweetie lifestyle! Hugs and Love to you all.

Simply,
Lesa