Simply, Lesa

  A level of defeat It's 2 AM in New Mexico. The night is calm and clear. At least it is now. The stars are bright and the area around me is quiet.  A week ago, I was robbed. It was a quiet robbery. I wasn't there. My things were stolen while I was away shopping for my weekly groceries. My friend's were robbed as well. They feel violated and unsafe. It has taken me some time to process my own feelings because, as I and likely others who have experienced other traumas in their lifetimes, I became busy creatively problem solving anything I could have control over. I gave hugs, I listened to others processing, I prepared healthy foods. I made lots of hot drinks for all of us. I deep cleaned cupboards. And rifled through my rig looking for extranious items to possibly get rid of -- yeah, not much more to let go of.  I thought. and thought about my summer travels. I thought about my teaching classes. I thought about being alone. I thought about getting even older. I thought abou

A few days ago I decided to drive to New Mexico to visit friends. I stopped in St Johns Arizona to see my mechanic Stan. I have him check out the tracker and had the oil changed. It was an odd day for me emotionally, I just was off, I knew it was time to go but my processes were slow and for some reason I felt a little clumsy minded. I took my time getting to Springerville Arizona and decided to eat in the car and then take a nap before driving a longer stretch. That did turn out to be a good idea. When I woke later in the evening I drove a number of miles and crossed the New Mexico state line.  In the dark cool night there were many herds of deer and elk along the road and it took a lot more energy to watch for them while driving in the dark. After I saw an owl swoop down and take some small animal from the side of the road for it s evening meal, I decided to find another place to rest. I pulled into a small gas station parking lot beside a a trucker with his engine runnin