Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Simply along for the ride!

Uncomfortable weather - hot or cold, wet or desert dry
As well as legal regulations. ...

Over the years since I left my parent's home in Eliot, Maine: these issues have been a consistent part of my thoughts. I was not prepared with information or experience out in 'the world'. I didn't understand legal stuff or how to rent and deal with landlords. I thought everyone had to be fair and that they would deal in every situation ethically, honestly and legally.   and when they didn't I was confused and baffled - and when some of those people were family it was even more baffling - its no wonder I became depressed.

I have tried on (like shoes - grin) many different living situations. When out of ideas I have even stayed in homeless shelters and tried to live within the system. .working up from the shelter to transitional housing and finally snagging the Section 8 housing.... (by the way - yuk can you say no freedom and no money)

My dad told me once that living takes everything (he ment money) you make. He's right in this society living takes all your energy.

So, why not use that energy doing something kewl that you actually like?

I've been accused of changing my mind a lot. Maybe I do. What's wrong with that?

Apartment 1 - old building n kewl
Park bench - its pretty at least and only a couple nights while I learn what to do.
Cottage - inexpensive darn the skunk family under the bedroom floor
Off season beach cottage - free for house sitting until the hippies left.
Rt 1 Motel for construction guys - picked by a family member because I was not worth helping (actual conversation)
An Uncle's spare room - so I can find a job oops Auntie doesn't let women stay with her...sorry you gotta go now. People aye!
Off season military rooming house - sleazy sucky but darn okay I will babysit inexchange for a room.
Hmmm then the exhusband starts calling the shots. with his friends, then try again with my family (disaster you'd think I learned) then apartment 2 - husb doesn't like to pay rent. we go again - na creative problem solving lets live in a van yup in 1978 in a 1968 Chevy with the engine between the seats. I even made chicken stew on that engine. And why live in a van so we could save money to buy land and build a house and have it paid for.  (Novel ideas aye?)
Apartment 3 I was a few months from having my first baby and there still wasn't enough money for land or a house. ..
Then house trailer beside the junk yard - we had enough to buy that and spruce it up...ah but those husbands who become ex's  he wasn't helping fix. He'd take apart and leave it all ghetto and scarey with two babies. ..
Trade up to an out of state move and owner financed rent to own land...on a creek with moose n coyotes n - omgosh he still won't help....
Time at parent's in a different state
House rental a mile from parents
Church and exhubby want me to try again
Apartment 3 - half condemned building. ..but I gotta or bye byw church, kids, family and friends.
I was done so done
House rental 2 in the city I don't remember much.  I was tired. I left
Plans all fell through I gotta go to parents - dread no - 3 months and church threatening parents. I left.
Cardwelling - like vandwelling in a car.
Apartment 4 - with coworker (later bf) horrible no bathroom no sink no kitchen - they rent places like this?  Okay camping equipment and now we have a bathroom, shower and kitchen. ..until I loose it. ..he's a drug addict - I don't even know what that is? I'm so stupid.  I don't trust me.
Homeless shelter 1 & 2
Apartment 5 - arguing and trying to work things out and I get backhanded!
Homeless shelter 2
Apartment 6 & 7 him in rehab. I'm going to college! My family thinks I am not smart and I am in college!  Whoohoo. Maybe I will be an Art Therapist! Wow the debt.
Apartment 8 --- I don't even remember it all
9, 10, 11....
On my own good job Apt 12 with the river view. suck downsized!
Back to the car. my way into Apt 13 or something in NYC...nervous breakdown
Homeless shelter 3-8, transitional housing. ..omgosh my neighbor is having an affair with my brother in law?
Moved in with sister...can't do it. .just can't
Homeless shelter (I lost count)
SSDI disability came through. ..I'm going back to NYC...but I have to be homeless in NYC for a year first...shelters #?-? One and a half years.
Rooming house I was told was the first step to my apartment. was a lie...crap
Apt? Times Sqare not bad but what's the smell. .omgosh are you serious my neighbor died...I'm not going out this way I'm too young.
CR ..... house sitting or projects ...

Its too much
I don't fit anywhere. ...

Hiking the AT three months alone outdoors sleeping in a hammock. Lightening and snow and hail

A hospital stay - family again and this time I am done. .nothing good comes from my family.

Dad dies
Oh the homestead in CR - not my land. Don't believe anyone.

A van.  Okay I have been there...I can do this.

Only it is friggin cold!
and I don't like this"great" van.  It's not anything like the pictures isent to the party who helped me get it. And who cares about speakers and electronic stuff. I've been living in the jungle and woods for three years. .I could care less about electric systems for a generator.
(no offence to anyone who has or had a part in my past life. )

Fast forward
I'm sitting on 20 acres
Lots of same ideas as always run back through to be processed again with new live experience filters in place. ...

Not my land don't give too much.
What if the van needs a repair now?
I flipped the Scamp as a way to make money.  I could do that again.
Apache pop ups are doable.
Geo-Playa Domes are pricey and liveable. I want to stand up on a bad weather day.
Maybe I should build a Vardo?
Could I set up a Tipi alone?
I don't want to be alone - I love Ozzie and I am ready for a relationship with some one who is willing to SHARE the ups and downs.
Buying land.
If I had bought the first piece instead of relying on the my life. ..I'd still have something or somewhere. ..
Okay so before I turn 60 years old I am buying a piece of dirt. Even if I am doing something else with someone else. This is for me. It's kinda like my tattoo that I got for my 50th birthday it was all for me.

I got a call the other day and someone I helped is giving me a Honda SUV!

I don't know where I am being taken this time. ..and it may seem like I keep changing my mind. ...I'm Simply along for the ride....