Years of different kinds of traumas and abuse, and bullying can leave people with a lack of trust. I think the worst is when we lose trust in ourselves. Of course, that's a hard one to regain as well.
Today, my Medical Ride agency didn't send my ride to my appointment. For the 5th time. Well twice we had to cancel for the weather and three times they didn't show up. So, of course, I have lost some faith that they will do what they say they will. I had to file a formal grievance through my insurance company, which took hours on the phone. Then I had to drive myself to the appointment because I can't put it off again! Ozzie rode with me, he started having sesiures again has been extra clingy. So after the appointment, we went for a walk and then out to lunch. I tried something new by ordering a side of meatballs for Ozzie and a side of Tuna with spinach at Subway. I had never done that before. It was good and inexpensive as well. Then we came home and got our chores done. And a quick phone call, then as it was starting to get dark, I began stressing over my ride for tomorrow's appointment. So I called to check and got hung up on. Then a different subcontractor for the ride company called and said that they would pick me up. I asked about the kind of car, because a 4WD had been requested and was told they didn't have 4WD have a good night! Now I am unsettled and can't rest... concerned. Thinking no rides gonna show up again - and I remember to relax and breathe. I remember that I am doing good things, and that everything CAN be fine - even if it looks different from the way I imagine it would be. So I get ready for bed. I hug Ozzie and I tell God how nervous I am and that I am struggling to trust the process.
The phone rings with "Hello, I am sorry to call so late, I am your driver for tomorrow could you please give me directions!"