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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Nightmares!

I'm Simply in the midst of a decision nightmare!

My head hurts. My eyes are blurry. I feel unsettled and it seems that Ozzie's feeling sick.

I learned that the Dome i bought was a great space and so not right for me.
I spent a weekend in a nearby town. Went dancing and walked a lot and really enjoyed living.
I drove a friend of mine to another town for shopping.
Another day took a friend to pick up their new to them truck.
I attended my friend's wedding and stayed out later than normal.
Over the past weeks I've designed and redesigned tiny homes for myself. And just shelved all those ideas.
I've posted the dome for sale.
Sat outside in the windy sunshine and answered phone calls and emails.
A friend's mom died - i will house sit when they go to the service.
I feel like its difficult to advise others on tiny home and nomadic lifestyles when I'm unsure of my own life and home right now. (Yes i sometimes consult on people's trailer or van choices and designs)
Another friend of mine got a new girlfriend! Whoo congrats. He has helped me with many projects before. He's got an 18ft Winnebago project motorhome from the 70s. Its available for sale - add that to the what do i need or want to do list...

Arrrg








I  - well we are going to need to be more protected from bad weather! 





Friday, March 17, 2017

Simply my new radio...

Morning all!
I've been busy running the roads in my home area this week.  Man is my back sore. I'm pretty tired of sitting down lol.
I did get a delivery or two. I finally replaced and upgraded my radio. It was important to me that I have multiple sources of power as well as more stations. Choice is a form of freedom.
I'm loving this new version of an emergency radio  complete with NOAA emergency settings  and weather stations. I got it through Sportsmans Warehouse for around  $50.


And off to do a bit more clean up here before taking a break to duh drive again - but in order to go dancing!  It's Simply time to have a life! All this survival mode is getting to me.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

What is next?

A life equation that I learned years ago. Perhaps from Byron Katie although I don't recall exactly.  Was that Suffering is when a Truth and a Belief don't match.

I have wondered about why my life has gone the direction it has. And yes I have at different times felt that I would never be strong enough to survive the suffering that I felt.

I couldn't settle in my thoughts, why God (the all that is all) gave me this event or that trauma or another storm to weather or yet another of lifes curve balls!

And then it occurred to me that I had been taught early in life that I had no choice or control. Although I got my share of free will by being born a human, I was taught to bend it always to what I was given by the unseen forces of life.  That is the events set in motion at the beginning of time by God - that power greater than all or that is the all that is all.

I was also taught that if I did the"right" things in life, like putting other people and their feelings and needs first and if I was thinking and "doing" good things then I would be rewarded with a little good and happiness in my life.....ah am I still waiting to be good enough for God to notice that I have been good and I have been quiet and I haven't asked for much...when was he going to step in and help me out?

I certainly have felt some overwhelming moments!

I'm back in the county where my land is located. I'm not at 'home' because of the weather.  Over the winter months I sold my travel trailers, paid some bills and made some upgrades to my car. New tires, a cargo basket for the roof and stuff. I also spent a lot of time researching and making the decision to buy a large dome - yurt - tent for use at large events and on my property.  Unfortunately I cannot put the tent up alone and I didn't have a woodstove to heat the space with.  I have a severe reaction to propane so I choose to not use it and wood heat makes more sense to me.  Anyway I am staying with a friend who lives close to town in an unfinished small house.  Ozzie and I have been sleeping on the floor in the future bathroom. Yes we are comfortable as we travel with our own bedding and stuff anyway.  This house is off-grid and built on a hill, which makes windy days and nights pretty scary.

I keep wondering what I am doing and where I will end up ... I don't have as clear as direction as I would like to have.  I realize how scared I may be at times living in the dome, because even though it is large it still is a tent. I am pretty sure that I am finished with being so alone. I would like to be married.  I've been touching base with family and old friends. Getting back online more often and sharing more.  I feel unsettled and awkward. I prefer having a project or a problem to solve, some kind of focus! I'm feeling that I can't see even a day ahead right now...  I don't feel that I am suffering. And yet I do feel out of sorts.  So I am doing my best to keep a sort of routine and help my friend with basics like making meals and keeping the house neat.

More soon
Simply,

Lesa

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Simply who is that?

Update on my Ozzie's health... since taking meds for epilepsy, Ozzie has only had two seizures that I know about. He's a little more clingy and seems to not like being alone, understandably.